THE CBGB'S EXPERIENCE
The beginning of this story might start off unrelated to CBGB’s but it is necessary to get the feeling of our night. It was Saturday night and V and I decided to go see a band. There was no one playing that I really wanted to see but I settled on some band that sounded interesting. They had two shows at 8:00 and 10:00. We decided on the 8:00 show so we could go to Kmart afterwards and buy some pots and potting soil.
We caught the B48 (the bus we take to catch the L train) at 7 something. I wasn’t to concerned about being a little late because there was an opening band. Our plan was to take the L to the F that went to the Lower East Side where Tonic, the club we were going to, was located. Everything was going well until the F hit W 4th St. and the conductor came on saying the train was going to take the 8th Ave. track (also known as the ACE line) which was on the west side of Manhattan, opposite of where we wanted to go. I suggested we ride the F to Canal where I thought we could catch a transfer. We got out at Canal to discover there were no transfers so we had to wait for the next A, C or E to take us further Downtown to take a transfer to the J M Z, which also had a stop next to Tonic, at Fulton. We caught the C to Fulton and got out only to find out we got screwed again because the transfer was closed on weekends. This meant we had to catch another subway line, the 4-5 6, to Chambers to catch the J M Z. After all of our transfers we finally got out off at Essex and Delancy which was just a few blocks away from Tonic. Unfortunately the normal 2 trains to get to Tonic turned into 5 what should have been 30 minutes turned into 2 hours. So much for Kmart.
We went over to Wendy’s so I could get some food and there I decided I didn’t want to see the band at Tonic anymore but wanted to check out CBGB’s. CBGB’s was a place I have wanted to go since I first came to visit NYC. This was a punk and rock institution where in the 70’s bands like The Ramones, Television, Blondie, Patti Smith, Talking Heads played regularly and where Ginsberg and Warhol could be seen checking out bands. Of course there were a few other little bands that played there like The Police, Tom Petty and of course in the 80’s – Sonic Youth.
We tracked back to the subway where we caught the F to 2nd and Houston (pronounced how-ston in NYC). CBGB’s is on Bowery, which is known for the many flophouses that sprouted up during the 20’s. Now only a few survive and CBGB’s was actually under a flophouse for a long time. If you don’t pay attention you could easily miss the small canopy that advertises club. Walking in there is a guy taking money for cover and to the left a stairway heading down to another stage. As you walk onto the club it is long and relatively narrow like all bars and commercial areas in NYC. On the right is a long bar that travels all the way down and to the left a raised area with tables and chairs. Around the middle past the raise area is the lighting and sound area. Past the sound area are more tables and chairs floor level. Past the tables an open area for people to stand and then of course the stage. The place is completely covered with flyers, poster and stickers from years past. I mean covered. There is not an empty space on the walls, chairs, tables and benches. The whole place is like a telephone post on The Drag. It looks pretty much as I hoped and expected.
We settled in to a table with a couple beers in hand and watched a so-so band play. We weren’t there to long before we both had to pee. V was first to try to find out where the bathroom was located. I watched her walk back to the entrance and then walk past me to the stage and then she came back again unsuccessful in her expedition. She said the ticket guy told her to walk to the left of the stage, down a set of stairs and there would be the bathroom. I got up to talk to the ticked guy. He told me “To the left of the stage, down a set of stair and there’s the bathroom.” I walked up to the stage and to the left was just a wall. I went back and told V the left part of the stage was blocked of and she said ‘I know, that is what I told you.’ Finally I asked the waitress so maybe she would point it out. She told me exactly what the ticket guy said. At this point we were watching every body who walked by that looked like they needed to pee. Every time a person would walk into the crowd and just blend in or disappear. After watching a girl next to us get up, go into the crowd and come back obviously relieved, I had to go back and find this secret entrance. I hung out for a bit hoping the band would end it’s set and the crowd would disperse. My wish eventually came reality, and like Moses spreading the sea, I saw the path along the left side of the stage leading back to a stair well leading to the bathroom. I eagerly hop down the steps in to clear view of the bathroom. The problem was, it was much to clear of a view to the bathroom. I could not just see into the restrooms but I could see men peeing. Past the urinals in the back of the bathroom sitting on a 3 foot platform was the throne. A toilet just sitting up there with the only bathroom light shining right down on it. As I unzipped my pants I thought to myself – surely the stairs just lead to the men’s restroom. No that is not the case. There I am, standing at the urinal, dick in hand, and three girls come clomping down the stairs. Needless to say I did not pee. I zipped up and headed up the stairs, which was only about three steps from the urinal, to tell Vanessa where the bathroom was. I gave here directions and wished her good luck.
With the whole bathroom thing going on I never paid much attention to the crowd at CBGB’s that night other than they were quite clean and much more conservative than what I was expecting. I just thought that CBGB’s, like the rest of New York, cleaned up a little bit. It wasn’t until a mixture of the Drag Queens hosting the show, noticing that the men and women sitting together weren’t “just friends”, and the fact that there was a guy singing this very cheesy and funny song about wanting to have “dirty sex with your boyfriend”, that I realized I managed to come to CBGB’s on gay night. It was so freakin classic. The night couldn’t have been topped off with a bigger HA – HA (Nelson’s laugh). Even though the explicit gay male, saying stuff that made even me blush, was very funny, I just had to go.