Museum of Modern Art

(MOMA)

Now this little museum actually has a story which has little to do with the museum itself.  After I stated working at Rockefeller Center I started looking for some place I could spend my hour for lunch besides St. Patrick's Cathedral.  After roaming around I realized MOMA was only a couple blocks away.  I soon had fantasies of sitting on a bench eating a sandwich surrounded by Picasso, Warhol, and Pollack.  So I went to MOMA on my lunch to see how much a one year membership would cost.  When she told me $70 I thought my dreams had been crushed but she said there was also a $20 membership for artists.  She asked me if I was an artist.  I told her a photographer.  She told me all I need was proof that I had shown (displayed my photos in a gallery).  I told her no problem.  

I left the museum and started thinking of how I could make a card advertising my show in San Antonio (she said I could have shown anywhere).  I went home and picked out some pictures that might be good enough for a gallery.  Let Vanessa help me choose and then started to work on the backside that had the information.  I laid out my name and location (2338 Woodlawn at the Woodlawn Gallery - no it does not exist) and Vanessa came up with a title - "Unsheltered".  I scanned the picture, bought some fancy card stock paper and started printing my card.  Once everything was aligned I printed the final copies.  It came out quite good.  In some ways I convinced myself that I did have a show.

After carrying my card around with me for a couple days to give it some age and getting Johnny to put a fake message on his answering machine, in case they called to verify I had shown , I went back to MOMA.  I got to the counter and told the girl about my previous visit to the museum and how the person I talked to told me to bring in proof of a show and how it didn't matter that it was in San Antonio.  The girl nodded her head and took the card.  The guy sitting next to her asked "Did you say San Antonio?".  I said yeah, I lived there for a couple years.  He said, "Really, I grew up there and just moved to New York about 10 months ago", then he grabbed my card from the girl.  At this point I was sure I was busted.  I mean what were the odds that I would go to MOMA to prove I had a show at a fictitious place and a guy working there grew up in San Antonio.  He then looked at the card and said, "Oh yeah, Woodlawn Gallery, I lived right near there."  I nearly shit.  That was it.  They gave me an Annual Artist Pass and I was off.